“A lover simply is love. He or she has become that.” ~Rumi I was at brunch the other day with a good friend. She was telling me about her blind date the evening before. “It was okay, whatever,” she says with a faint sigh. “It was like talking to a stranger for two hours.” I [...]
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Are you familiar with the musical Les Miserables? Growing up just outside New York City, I must have seen it on-stage at least a dozen times. As a teenager, the character I most identified with was Eponine whose identity of deep aloneness was captured in her soul-wrenching solo “On My Own.” For kicks, I sometimes [...]
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For a few months now, he’s been acting distant. The harder you try to draw him close, the more he pulls away. Last night, he came home and asked for a divorce. He loves you but, you know, he’s not in love with you. You could smell it on him. You just knew something was [...]
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Understanding our deepest needs and taking responsibility for becoming the source of their fulfillment creates a relational field that is, simply, magnetic to great love. Mastering self-love enables us to become a co-creative woman capable of true partnership rather than an insatiable little girl looking for love in—literally—all the wrong places. Self-love, at its very [...]
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It’s one of the biggest a-ha moments for my clients. It’s the shift that shifts everything in love and relationship. And it’s this: Men (others) do not love us in the way we’re loving them. They love us in a way that mirrors the way we’re loving ourselves. So let’s be real. At first this [...]
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The year is 1986 and Whitney Houston’s “The Greatest Love of All” is the number one song. I’m in the fourth grade at Saint Mary’s, a Catholic grammar school, located just outside New York City. Planning the music for the upcoming school liturgy is on the agenda and the teacher asks: “What shall we sing?” [...]
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Do you see the glass “half empty” or “half full?” A few years ago, I would have wholeheartedly exclaimed “half empty.” Of course! Yes, I admit I was a pessimist! And I was proud of it. At that time, I honestly didn’t feel like it was infringing on my happiness. On the contrary, I thought [...]
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Are we faking entire relationships? Is it better to fake it than be alone? It’s exciting how the motivation for love and relationship is evolving quickly as the archetypal Carrie Bradshaw, last decade’s quintessential cosmopolitan woman, can type those questions across her computer screen. In fact, a participant in my recent New York City-based workshop [...]
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Seeing our children every day as if for the first time is an amazing gift, but not an easy one. Our parenting expert Jenny Runkel, wrote an insightful article “Corrective vision” which asks us as parents to give our children the gift of presence and to see our children each day with a fresh pair [...]
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Just today I visited with a former student of mine who is expecting her first child. She has her nursery ready, her hospital bag packed, and her birthing plan printed out. How cute is that? She, like the rest of us that first time around, has absolutely no clue what she is in for. Nothing. [...]
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