But… did you know that fruit can be a delicious sexual enhancer, adding a sensational boost to your personal sexcapades?  (Even) better sex can be yours to savour simply by incorporating a few of the following Sensational Sexy Fruits into your daily meals and maybe slipping a few into that of your lover(s).

Sensational Sexy Fruits:

Dates:  Mmmmm…  ready to boost your sexual stamina?  A secret naturopathic and yummy recipe for a stimulating elixir includes taking a handful of dates, soaking them in fresh goat’s milk for the night and then adding in a mixture of cardamom powder and honey.  The results?  A tonic which will have your body in bliss for hours.

Bananas:  A sexy fruit (and not just for what you think), these bursts of vitamins hold a fantastic mix of benefits for your bodies. From bromelain enzyme to intense levels of potassium and vitamin B, a banana to start your day will result in delectable rewards during your intimate moments.

Pomegranates:  Not only do these vibrant red fruits look erotic, they are noted for enhancing libido.  Whether enjoyed straight or as a juice, pomegranates help the body produce nitric oxide opening up blood vessels and increasing blood flow… a wonderful thing for sexual stimulation and libido!

Mango:  One of my personal favorites, mango is a great addition before and during sex… sticky, sweet and delectable it increases sexual vigor and intensity.  Phew!   Try it in its natural format or as a juice.

Figs:  Wanting to wake up your sexuality or bring it to even higher peaks?  Try a handful of figs.  These sultry little fruits entice all of our senses elevating our moods. Their high levels of amino acids also increase both sexual drive and desire.

Avocados:  Yes, it is a fruit and one full of incredible benefits.  When you want a serious energy boost, the folic acid found in avocados helps to metabolize proteins adding oomph to your energy levels.  Their B6 reduces stress levels and amplifies testosterone while the potassium is great for women directly elevating the feminine libido.

Of course, the benefits do not end in the bedroom, relishing a few of these sensational sexy fruits will bring your body tangible rewards.  By switching out a few of your regular sugary snacks for one of these naturally sweet treats your body will adjust and transform revealing a fitter more radiant you.

Not sure where to start?  How about:

1) Picking up some pomegranate juice and incorporating it into your mid afternoon snack.
2) Selecting a variety of the above fruits (throwing in a few of your other favorites) and making a fruit salad.  Top it off with yogurt or granola and you have a tasty treat.
3) Cutting up some banana and adding it to your morning smoothie or cereal.
4) Sharing a titillating treat during a “date night” of pomegranates or mangos with your lover.  Feel free to get a little naughty, you may be surprised at how the taste enhances when enjoyed from the skin of your partner.
5) Adding avocado to your lunch; try it on a salad or in your sandwich.

However you incorporate these Sexy Sensational Fruits into your meal plans, think of it as a lifestyle change with infinite benefits.  Combining these simple diet adjustments with a renewed sex life will have you sporting a new vibrant glow (inside and out!).

I’d love to hear which fruits you opt to add in and any recipes which feature the above Sensational Sexy Fruits!

Much Love,

Alessandra Sagredo, Spiritual Hedonist

I know you want to blame him. But what if he had nothing to do with why your relationship failed? Have you ever stopped to think the relationship ended because of “you?”

I know that’s hard to swallow but it happens all the time.

Women walk around with so many insecurities and have no idea what kind of impact these hang-ups have on their relationships, especially the romantic ones.

What would your relationship look like if you didn’t allow your insecurities to interfere? If you let go of those hang-ups, stayed present and opened your heart and your mind?

You might find exactly what you’ve been searching for. You most definitely would have more fun and your sex life would sizzle.

Believe me, I know. There was a time when I allowed my insecurities to get the best of me too. And all it did was push him further and further away.

So what can you do to prevent this from happening? You might not like the answer but you must work on letting go of those hang-ups once and for all. You must learn to accept and love yourself just as you are. And you must be open to trying something different.

Here are the 5 lessons that I learned while working on my own issues. They worked great for me. I hope they will help you too!

Love Your Body
When you do not love your body, it affects your ability to be intimate. You may think he doesn’t notice your body loathing because you may not verbalize it but he senses it, believe me.

You have to let go of your desire to be “perfect.” Accept and embrace what God gave you. Look at your body and admire it for what it can do rather than dwell on all the imperfections and flaws you think you have. Get bold. Stand in front of a mirror naked and look at yourself. Really stare at yourself and your body. Learn to love every inch of it. Love those folds, wrinkles, fine lines, scars, and marks. They make you unique and being unique is magnificent.

Not to mention, if you are trying to attract a man, there is nothing more alluring than a woman who loves every inch of her body. They will be standing in line waiting to just get a second of your time and they will have no idea why.

Tame Your Inner Critical Bitch
Have you ever heard that voice inside your head that told you, “you are not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, worthy enough, or smart enough?” Yes? Well, the good news is that is not really YOU talking. It is, what I like to call, your inner critical bitch. She is mean, downright ruthless and totally out to derail you. And from time to time, she needs a good ole fashioned smack down.

So, if your negative thoughts are infiltrating your daily activities, it’s time for you two to have a sit down before she runs rampant. You need to give it to her straight and take everything she says with a grain of salt.

Here’s the truth, when you allow your inner critical bitch to run the show, no man wants to be anywhere near you. It’s like a natural chick repellant.

Be a Vixen
Being a vixen implies you know how to love yourself and how to fulfill your own desires. You know what makes you happy and you treasure yourself daily.

Men love women who know what they want and how to get it. They also love women who are not afraid to ask for what they want. Remember, men are not mind readers! Tell the men you meet what you want. If you want to go on a romantic stroll in the park, ask him nicely. If you want to check out that new fancy restaurant, tell him it would mean the world to you if he would take you.

The beauty of expressing your desires is your man will know exactly how to make you happy which is always his main goal.

Do Not Under Any Circumstances Appear Desperate
I know you want to attract the perfect partner. Every woman does but throwing yourself at every guy you meet who looks like boyfriend/husband material is not the answer. Not only does it appear desperate, you will look extremely insecure and unattractive. And you probably will get so wrapped up in landing the guy, you’ll miss out on the best part…having fun.

So, rather than complain that you can’t attract the right man, why not have fun playing with the ones you do have in your life. Live in the moment, express your desires, let things unfold and most importantly commit to having fun. If you do this, you won’t have to find your perfect mate, he will find you.

Show Appreciation
There is nothing more attractive than a woman who shows a man appreciation, especially when you notice the little things. The more you appreciate a man, the more he will gush over you.

One of the best forms of appreciation is listening. Really listen to the man you are dating or are with. Hear what he says; give him your full attention and practice keeping your mouth shut while he’s talking. No need to give him your opinion unless, of course, he asks.

Believe it or not, men are emotional beings. They want to be heard, just like us and they most certainly want to be told that they have done a good job, even if you are only thanking them or appreciating them for taking out the trash.

I would love to hear your thoughts. What has worked for you? When you were allowing your insecurities to interfere in your relationships, how were you able to shift this destructive behavior?

If you loved this article and know of someone else who might benefit from it, please share it and pass it along.

This past weekend, I had the honour and privilege to attend the I Can Do It Conference created by Hay House here in Vancouver with my mother. I felt so fortunate to share the experience with my mum. We both have read Marianne Williamson’s A Gift of Change this year and were looking forward to hearing her speak as well as all the other speakers including Dr. Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue, and Louise Hay. To be able to breathe in and breathe out as a collective audience of over 3,000 beside my mother with love and spirit, peace and kindness was a true gift. The energy was warm and so comforting.

Louise Hay was a speaker at this event with Cheryl Richardson. Her presence was innocent and child like to me. She had a sense of freedom and enthusiasm for life and perfect love of herself that was beyond contagious. Sitting on a tall stool, she was more like a new young Empress on a throne then an 84 yr old woman speaking for the thousandth time, swinging her legs, arms open, palms up and bra full of goodies!

She started her speech with such a simple and kind gesture; asking us all to place one hand on our hearts and one hand on our tummy…reminding us that we are loved telling us all to tell ourselves “I Love Me. All is well.” Our own hands providing so much comfort she channeled her energy right into our hearts.

This experience brought up a really important fact to remember: even when we are alone, we are always supported. We can provide ourselves with as much comfort as we provide others. Our hands and our arms hug and give love so powerfully. It is important to place our hands on our own hearts and hug ourselves too.

During my personal journey of overcoming my fears, guilt, shame and doubts in the last year and a half of living in debt and struggle, I too looked to myself for comfort. Not that there was no one else to lean on or anyone else to support me to be clear. But in the wee hours of the morning or the time just before bed when all anxieties seem to arise, it became so clear to me that I had the power in myself to comfort myself.

After all, I am a mother of two young children. There is something incredibly powerful about being a mother or a father for that matter. When your child is fussing/crying, in pain, hungry or just not settled and you are able to provide them with your arms. When you hold your crying unsettled child, soothe them with your words and they settle. They become calm. And even more magically, when your child falls asleep because of you that is truly powerful.

So then by divine right and ability so must we also be able to take our same arms and hands, wrap them around ourselves in our darkest of times, place our hands on our hearts and provide the same comfort we would provide our children.

The following is a conversation I had with myself after a particular hard time this past year. In honour of Mother’s Day, I share with you an experience I had because I am a daughter and also a mother to a daughter.

I had a moment of desperation turned into inspiration before going to bed one night. I’d been reading the Sedona Method which in very short, talks about allowing feelings to come up all the way even if we have been trying to keep them at bay, asking ourselves if we are ok to keep these feelings, if so, for how long and then to actually let go of the feelings. A lot more to it than this but you get the idea.

Ok, so I tried this several times, during and after a fight– not bad, didn’t stay mad for nearly as long because I just chose not to,  watching the odd sad story on TV; able to cry about it and feel really badly for who the story is about, somehow easier to cry at others misfortunes than my own.

But one night I decided to really let the feelings come up before going to bed. I was in my bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet seat and the following internal conversation could be heard if you had a USB cord connected to my brain:

My voice: “How could you let this happen? What are you going to do about it? When are you going to do something about it? As if you thought this was ever going to be ok!”

Tons of tears and snot ensue, heaves spill out, glasses off, nose blown, breathing almost stops.

My Mother’s voice: “Barb, it’s time to let this go. It’s time to forgive yourself.” I start to feel her arms around me. She is rubbing my back…”There…that’s better. Let it go. It’s all right.”

*Note: I had to share this moment with my mum the next day. She told me that same night around that time she was “not there. I wasn’t in my body.”

Tears slow, head lifts up, shoulders move back, eyes search the ceiling, breathe comes back into my body.

My voice I’d hear if I was talking to Stella, my daughter: “Time to clean up the mess and pick up the pieces. Get up now. You’re ok. All better…there, see? You’re going to be ok, I’m right here. I’m always with you and I am never going to leave your side. Ever. No matter what you do, I will always love you.”

I get up off the toilet from the night light lit bathroom and into the bedroom, climb into bed and continued to soothe and heal myself as I would if my own children needed me falling asleep.

Did it work to bring up all the crappy feelings and do my best to let them go? Yes.

Do I still have a bit of those feelings left? Yes, but not as much. The next day, literally was empowering, full of really interesting stuff, great meetings, great acknowledgements.

What have you said to your children to help them feel better that you should also say to yourself?

Barb McMahon is the Founder and Visionary behind Sprouting Chefs, a kitchen garden program for children. Barb championed a school garden project/program at Forest Grove Elementary to create the first edible school garden in the Burnaby School District. Her mission and vision is to create space and programs where children feel connected to the earth and each other, work in harmony with nature and eat the fruits of their labours. Her After School Garden Club currently has 28 members of all age groups from Forest Grove Elementary including 12 teens she calls their EnvironMentors!

Taking your health to the next level does not mean the same thing for everyone in our health-conscious diva community. What it does mean is that you have the privilege to take what you’re doing and step it up a notch, starting today. Then, when you reach satisfaction where you’re at and it begins to feel comfortable, you leap again trusting that something is even better on the other side. Leap after leap – you can see how it can get to be a thrilling ride if you stay with it!

Now that you’re motivated to really do this, let’s get into some tactical things that you can actually apply, giving you results! There are dozens of strategic ways to enhance your current choice, and to make it easy, I’m going to list several and share how I personally have upgraded or helped others to do so – without a major overhaul to our diet or lifestyle.

All big changes begin with 1 step and lead to the next – so you can still sense that you’re ready for some major improvements, but let’s start with where you’re at so overwhelm is a thing of the past.

Homegrown leafy greens, herbs, baby carrots & a juicy tomato

Let’s say you’re:

Buying and eating regular store bought non-organic produce – you can step it up and upgrade to:

- organic store bought produce, and then upgrade to…
- buying your produce at a local farmer’s market, and then…
- starting to grow some sprouts at home (indoors, easy for everyone), then…
- plant, grow, and harvest your own organic leafy greens and some herbs, then…
- expand your garden to eat 100% of your own fruits, vegetables, herbs

It will feel like way too much to go from eating conventional fruits and veggies from a big chain grocery store to growing your own organic edible garden, but we all get there by doing the next best thing that we can at the time and eventually, our lives look and feel much better.

Love your pasta but it doesn’t love you back?

Here’s how to upgrade so you don’t have to go without your favorite noodle dish. Let’s say you’re eating regular pasta from the store – the effort is the same to grab:

- organic pasta made from quinoa, kamut, and other healthy grains,
- fresh pasta from the cool Italian guys’ booth at the farmer’s market
- kelp noodles from the refrigerator section (made from seaweed, tasteless on its’ own and it’s all about the sauce you drench it in)
- zucchini from the market or natural food store for making spiralized zucchini pasta (pick up a Spiralizer on Amazon) – great alternative to the boxed pasta actually giving you energy instead of depleting it

You can have your satisfying pasta dish and yet be open to playing with different versions of what the noodles are actually made of! Even rotating in these other options will shift starchy cravings and the way your body feels after you’ve eaten your meal. Load your yummy sauce with extra organic veggies for an easy way to step it up a notch. Bon Appetit!

Chocolate Lover's Dream

Do you love (or crave) chocolate?

Instead of grabbing a regular candy bar (which can happen to even the health-conscious in times of weakness if you haven’t reached that level of absolutely refusing to compromise no matter what), soak in the goodness of:

- store-bought organic dark chocolate
- store-bought organic *raw* chocolate bars (in the raw food section of natural health food stores)
- learn to make your own homemade organic, raw chocolates
- expand your kitchen creative repertoire to include raw superfood-infused fudge, cookies, brownies, cakes and bliss balls

Your life will be sweeter for it!

There’s always room to grow and as we continually morph into that sweeter version of ourselves, the positive momentum we gain carries us to a life with more joy, freedom, peace, beauty, confidence, and abundance. Everything is better when we take exceptional care of ourselves and are super healthy!

I invite you to see the perfection of where you are now, and recognize that you got there because of all the small little steps you took along the way. If you can come this far, can you sense how far you can go? There’s a level of health that is so over the top amazing, once it’s realized makes you so excited and wonder why everyone else isn’t living it, too!

We are so fortunate that we have the ability to design a life based upon conscious choice. Imagine if every single diva that reads this intentionally decided to take her health to the next level, because she’s definitely worth it and postponing it won’t bring the bliss any closer… she could make a dramatic impact in our world, starting just with herself.

I am here to tell you that it is OK to feel weak, it is perfectly normal for even the most confident woman to experience extreme lows. While the textbook definition portrays confidence as “the state of being certain” I am in disbelief that this is the one and only way to define confidence. Confidence is all about having the courage to share + fully feel your feelings. To me confidence and courage go hand in hand. In order to become insanely happy and comfortable with ourselves we need to step back, breathe and release our most internal struggles. It is completely fine {in fact I encourage you 110%} to let it out through tears and then reach out and ask for help.

How can you reshape your thoughts around the word confident? No one is put on this Earth perfect – and that’s how it should be! We need to use our life struggles to connect as a powerful community. Our flaws and hardships is what make each of us special and will form a bond between us.

Our internal voice is our blockade – we hinder ourselves our self. I want us to recognize this voice when it begins to come out and wants to take control. We have the power to shut that voice up. I recognize it is not that simple – I’ve been there at the height of my negative voice. Screaming + Over powering me saying “No one will ever like you, all those people you think are your friends they are laughing at you” “You are disgusting.” When these voices come in I want you to allow them to be heard, let them be felt but don’t let them take over. Breathe and feel. Realize that these ARE just voices.

We have the ability in ourselves to work through this negative fear. Destiny is “the future destined for a person or thing; fate; fortune; lot the predetermined or inevitable course of events” When we mix in empowerment “To give or delegate power or authority to; authorize to give ability to; enable or permit” we can manifest our own fate and allow for confidence to come to us and tackle our fears. As someone that has overcome her own fears, negative self-hate I firmly believe this can be accomplished and that we all deserve the world. Each and every one of us has a purpose, a gift, a passion burning inside of us that we are meant to share.

I want to share with you my 8 step system to unlock your confident empowered destiny:

Step One. Think about what you want to do

Step Two. Break down the desire + what you want to achieve

Step Three. Cleanse, Discover, and Remove the junk

Step Four. Visualize yourself doing what you desire + want

Step Five. Connect it to your destiny/path/life

Step Six. Plant this into your mind

Step Seven. Ask for guidance + support through meditation

Step Eight. Celebrate the visualization

One of the biggest ways to come past our internal fears + negativity is accepting it, extending love to ourselves and celebrating where we are and how far we have come in our lives. In order for us to find + establish confidence we must begin with authenticity and love. We must accept this exact moment and state of mind we currently find ourselves. Confidence is not something that can be magically obtained overnight. It is something that we must work towards and truly want. Only when we are fully ready to face our fears, our internal demons, open up our pasts is when we may begin working on increasing our confidence.

Ashley Taylor is a finely tuned, well educated, machine. She is street smart and layered with formal education to fit her life’s calling – empower the masses. She is the catalyst that will unstick your universal flow. She is the demolition team that will smash your inner blocks. She is the master architect that will rebuild your dreams and visions into a sparkly new empire with a solid foundation of love and confidence. She is a big city dweller with the heart of a star child. She is holistic in her approach to healing, empowering, and ass kicking. A natural born killer of multi-tasking there isn’t an avenue she won’t travel for the best way to get your motor started.

I’m in the fourth grade at Saint Mary’s, a Catholic grammar school, located just outside New York City. Planning the music for the upcoming school liturgy is on the agenda and the teacher asks: “What shall we sing?”

The consensus is clear: “’The Greatest Love of All!’”

The lyrics of the song are presented, illuminating with spine-tingling truth how we, the children, are the future and that learning to love ourselves is the greatest love of all.

The teacher green-lights the song but insists we change the lyrics to proclaim the greatest love of all is not, in fact, self-love but drum roll: God’s love for me.

I’ve reflected on this over the years while experiencing a gamut of emotions. It’s really no wonder that women, especially and collectively, believe a rescuer is coming to save them within an ultimately disempowering story. Resolutely, I’ve maintained the real God would have sung it Whitney’s way. Weirdly, though, this look-at-me throwing off the dogmatic shackles stance left me feeling, well, victimized and reactionary (like a little girl) by a culture that traditionally relegates females to the best-supporting roles on the divine stage.

Yes, we are “The Ones” we’ve been waiting for. But, really, the greatest love of all is a bit more complex or, simply, relational. It’s not just about God’s love for me, or just my love for myself. It’s about what is seeking to emerge through our love together

Developmentally speaking many, if not all, of the beliefs we’ve projected onto God actually reflect (for better or worse) our earliest experiences with our parents or primary caregivers.  So, for example, if one had parents who were distant and cold, they tend to believe in a distantly cold God. If her caregivers were absent, she tends to believe God is absent. And on, and on, it goes.

The time has come for all of us to woman-up in our co-creative relationship with God (Life, Spirit, Universe, Source, The Divine.) It’s time to evolve and develop beyond the little girl waiting in the wings to be loved, rescued and discovered in service to becoming a true participant. This means taking responsibility for a developmentally younger self who, left on her own, seeks corrective parenting as the (unconscious) motivation for, well, just about everything. So, really, it’s giving up waiting for someone else to come along, including God, to love us in a way we’re unwilling to love ourselves. It’s time to mid-wife, to birth, our authentic self or soul identity as the foundation. It’s time to dis-identify with being powerless—with being a victim.

Feminine co-creativity is anchored in a very receptive and relational way of being. Life (whether we realize it or not) is happening through us rather than to us. We are the source of our experience which, in fact, requires us to be radically self-responsible from a place of fierce love and compassion as opposed to shame and blame.

The time is now to become exquisite co-stars with God in a way so ecstatically real, intimate, responsible, unprecedented, present and expressed—so grown-up—there’s a holistic transformation that infuses our world. A buzz of belonging bursts forth coupled with a dynamic of mutuality. At last, at last, there is engagement through this exquisite inner quality of relatedness. Seated between the good, the true and the beautiful, there’s a place for everyone at the table. Cracking-up at the ego’s separate tantrums and trance-like dramas, there’s a part to play with ease as masks fall away. Survivor is just too small a game. A surrendered life is a big life that feels something like heaven-on-earth possibility. Surrender is actually the safest way to source safety. Authentic confidence preludes deep dives. Inner vision is 20/20 and abundance? Well, it’s just the way it is. Something is seeking to wake up so don’t go back to sleep (thank you, Rumi) and, for God’s sake, don’t medicate it or dim down. Desires whisper shared potentials. Motivations are purified because these shoes were made for walking through the fire. Silence hums with meaningful guidance along the path leading home.

Really it’s okay to trust this process called partnered becoming.

No, really, it is.

There’s an undivided attention that’s sublimely beyond compare. Essence is visible and, even, kissable. Presence trumps perfection—every, single, time. Extraordinary is the new normal. There is a self sense of being truly, and lovingly, partnered in a way that is profoundly embodied. God needs us to rise and develop. Life yearns for our partnership. Our full participation matters. Our consciousness matters. We are free-choosers in the relationship with a divinity wondering, “Where have you been all our life?”

It’s our choice to say, “Yes.”

Now that we’re about halfway into the New Year, your resolution to hit the gym every day has probably waned and you just can’t seem to make it to the gym anymore. I mean, you’ve been working hard for about 6 months now and have seen results, so you can start slacking off a little, right? We have all experienced these slumps and these feelings, but you’re not going to lose any weight by coming up with reasons to not work out. The saying is true: if you want something bad enough, then you’ll find a way to make it work. Well, I’m not sure if that’s the exact wording, but you get the gist of it. I’m not trying to give you a sales sheet or anything about getting into shape, but I would just like to extend some knowledge that I’ve come across that has helped me a lot.

I told myself that I was going to go to the gym at least 4 times a week before December 31, 2011 at 11:55 even hit, and I did it. I have made a habit of going to the gym every day, and trust me, it hasn’t been easy. Waking up at 7:30 for an 8:30 cycling class makes me want to crawl back into bed and sleep in. But, I have created motivation for myself to jump out of bed and into gym clothes. There are few things that I’ve learned to teach myself that have made my routine a lot easier to follow.

1) Find a Good and Fun Routine

Your work-out doesn’t have to be grueling, painful, and dreadful. I think that you should enjoy the activity that you’re going to force your body to do. When you have a gym membership, it’s really easy to try out all of the different classes that they offer. For example, I realized that I enjoy cycling, Zumba, bodyworks, and Pilates. I have been able to work around my schedule in order to take these classes; knowing how much I like them and how much fun they are is motivation enough for me to go. Don’t fret if you don’t have a gym membership or your gym doesn’t offer classes! This is when you create your own regimen; you can dance in your home for a couple of hours, or go rollerblading around your neighborhood. It’s important to try out several different options before deciding that something is right for you, which brings me to my next point:

2) Don’t Knock it After One Try

If you try something once, you’re supposed to know right away if it’s for you, right? That’s not always true, especially in regards to exercising. You also need to realize that things are not as easy or as hard as they seem. For example, I’ve had a gym membership since my freshman year of high school, and I am now a college graduate as of December 2011. Over those years, I peered at all of the people in the group exercise room and thought that I’d never do a cycling class, or even a Zumba class. I took a few cycling classes over the years, and I told myself that I’d never go back because it hurt my butt and it was so painful. But I started going, and I realized that I absolutely love the class! No matter what kind of exercise it is, give it a couple of chances before dismissing it completely.

3) Create a Realistic Routine

Now that you’ve encompassed the rules of #1 and #2, it’s important to create a realistic schedule for you. Now, some readers of this online magazine may work for 12 hours a day, some may work from home, some may work a 9-5, and still others may be in school. If you know that you have a lot of late meetings, you should consider hitting the gym prior to work. You can’t say that you want to work out for 3 hours a day for 7 days a week, because that’s not realistic, and that’s kind of painful. I have a very flexible work schedule, so I’m able to take classes on different days at different times and it works well for me. You need a way to manage your time in order to get a fun and effective workout.

4) Grab a Buddy

For this tip, I’m referring to more than just a work-out buddy. We all know how helpful those buddies are, and they really do keep you motivated to go to the gym when they have the same schedule as you. I’m also referring to those friends who notice a change in your physique and comment on it and encourage you to keep on going. I have a friend who lives in a whole different state, but we talk to each other about our workouts and weight loss. It gets me motivated to keep up my routine because I’m getting approval from someone whom I trust. Regardless of how independent you are, you appreciate when people compliment you and commend you on your hard work.  In cycling and Zumba, I have had random women come up to me after class and tell me that they watch me to try to keep up with me! If that’s not motivation, I have no idea what is.

5) Praise the Little Wins

I will try on clothes that I have in my closet that fit me so much better than they did before. You can actually SEE the results when your dresses and jeans are getting a little bigger. When you have certain pieces of clothing in your closet that you haven’t worn in a while because you’ve been too big, it’s fantastic when you can actually fit into those clothes again. You feel amazing about yourself and you want to continue to work out. Be proud of losing 5 pounds, or even 2 pounds! Celebrate by doing a little jig and patting yourself on the back.

6) Listen to Your Body

“No pain, no gain!” Yes, it’s true. But, there is a significant difference between being sore and being in extreme pain. If you’re in pain, you need to listen to your body and not exert yourself, because you eventually will hurt yourself.

7) Be Food Conscious

In addition to paying attention to physical signs, you also need to pay attention to what your stomach is telling you. It is way easier said than done, I know. When you’re full, don’t shove any more food in your mouth no matter what you’re currently craving! This is the number one reason for weight gain: eating when you’re already full. Your stomach expands because of this, and the next time that you eat, you will need to eat more to feel full. It’s a vicious cycle.

Also, before you decide to eat that whole pack of M&M’s, just remember how hard you worked out that day. Why ruin all of the hard work you did? I’m not trying to say that you should never have any “bad” food (you should have a little bit when you’re craving it so you don’t deprive your body and cause it to overindulge later on), just make sure that you’re eating it in moderation.

I am in no way a health and fitness guru and I did not study either one of these subjects in college. But, I realized that these 7 tips have helped me stick to my work-out routine a lot. It really takes a lot of motivation and endurance in order to start and continue to exercise, and you must realize that it is a lifestyle change. A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight because of working out and changing up my diet, but I gained a lot of it back. Why? Because I stopped exercising frequently!  That’s one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made, but luckily I can bring myself back from that. I’ve been re-exercising for about 6 months now and have lost about 27 pounds and gained healthy muscle, and this new habit is one that I believe that I can actually stick with.

Gabrielle Matthews is recent college graduate who has a passion for animals. At UCF, she majored in Marketing with a minor in English Writing. She lives in Central Florida and enjoys reading, cooking vegetarian meals, going to the gym, and playing with her three birds. Connect with Gabrielle on Facebook.

Sound familiar? Though attitudes and trends change with time, this one doesn’t seem to change. We are still telling our children to find a focus and be willing to commit. Relationship language is steeped in the verbiage of commitment. “He’s afraid to commit”, has become so cliché it’s almost meaningless.

I personally don’t operate by commitment. To me, commitment is about sticking it out, proving my word, seeing it through, in spite of what I truly believe, want or need, just because I said I would, because I committed. To me, commitment is about the past, not about the present, or the future for that matter. It’s about something I said, signed or paid for that I am condemned to complete or consume if it kills me!

Even as a kid, I could never relate to this. Granted, I may have seemed somewhat ADD, picking up one toy, or hobby and soon loosing interest and heading for an entirely different past time. My enthusiasm ebbed and flowed, unpredictable and perhaps chaotic looking from the outside.

It’s not that I didn’t have dreams of what I would be when I grew up. Like all children and teen-agers, I had my ideal career aspirations. I went through stages of wanting to be a child psychologist, a stripper!, a restaurateur, but they all faded when I realized what the work to get their actually involved. What the commitment involved!

I’m not sure of the exact moment or event that precipitated me discovering the concept of devotion, but it happened around the time that I found my body; I mean really found my body. Yes, I knew I had a body all along, I even trained as a dancer for many years, performing and competing rigorously, but it wasn’t until I discovered the pleasure of my body, (and I don’t mean sexual pleasure although that is certainly a pleasurable perk of having a body), that I discovered the joy of paying attention to what my heart and soul really pine for, now in this moment, and the next and the next.

What started out as dance training, became a profound vehicle for self-discovery. Dance, which I had an obvious aptitude for from an early age, had always been something I was attracted to, but when my commitment to my teacher to train as intensely as I could to win ribbons became more important than my devotion to my own wellbeing, (which meant having fun and doing what other kids do, mostly just play) I lost interest and dropped out of the all encompassing, driving need to accomplish something, to achieve perfection, to please my teacher. Instead I discovered, that as much as I loved to dance, I loved listening to my greater calling, which was to have fun, be with other kids, do stuff just for the sake of doing stuff, in other words, just be a kid!

Now, as a grown up, at least parts of me are all grown up, I still love to play, I love to follow my creative intuition, I love to let my heart decide based on what I truly feel in each moment. I call that living devotion.

Is it possible to ever complete a project this way, achieve a sense of fulfillment, and realize a dream? You bet it is.

You see devotion is about sensing inwardly to our own alive and pulsing animal nature. The muscle and lifeblood of devotion is real life magic that ignites your flame, that makes you laugh, that inspires you to dream.

For women, devotion to what is truly meaningful in our lives is essential for a life richly lived. The 3rd Texture of Vividly Woman, the embodiment path that I work with and coach other women with, (there are 5 Textures in all), is Mobilize. Mobilize, as the word implies is about moving into action.

In a linear, more masculine, goal oriented context, mobilize is about moving into action to get from point a to point b. Without action, it’s unlikely that there will be any movement. In a sculptural more feminine context, mobilize is about identifying the meaning that motivates action. Without meaning, there is no point in taking action, because you won’t be able to sustain that action, or if you do, it will be at the expense of your true soul’s calling.

So devotion and meaning are somewhat synonymous. If you fill your life with things and people that are genuinely meaningful to you, you will likely have a stronger sense of devotion to those things and people and it will be effortless to do the things that are required to keep those relationships alive. The opposite is true as well. Less meaning means more drudgery. It’s the difference, in other words, between living a vivid technicolor existence or one in multiple shades of gray.

But what do you do with all the mundane daily responsibilities that don’t inherently feel attractive to you, like taking out the garbage, making the kids their lunch day after day, or paying the bills? For those things and people that you might not actually choose given the option, but are necessary for functioning in your world, your task is to choose to find meaning in doing them, or don’t bother! Essentially you have 2 choices. Choose to do things that have meaning, or choose to find meaning in the things that you do. The power to choose is something we cannot, as women living with the means and the opportunity that we have, ignore. It is precisely because we can choose, that we must, and in so doing, create meaning rich lives for ourselves.

When you look carefully, it’s easy to find the meaning in those things that feel like chores. Taking out the garbage for instance is meaningful because it means that you have the wealth to acquire goods that will make your life, keep you fed, and run your home. Its obvious why it’s meaningful to make lunch for your kids, and paying the bills means you have access to the things that serve your ease and comfort, truly a luxury not to be taken for granted.

Hopefully you can see how the advantage of choosing meaning in your life, in and of itself holds meaning, and why when you choose to make this a practice, the devotional magic in your life expands. Though commitment may be touted as the necessary ingredient to bring any vision to fruition, personally I think devotion is way juicier, and gets me where I want to go at least as often. But instead of relying on what I said I was going to do, and living up to that promise, which to me seems like a single dimensional schematic drawing version, void of much sensual texture, I behave according to my aliveness in the moment, which makes my life a many dimensional, living work of art!

Magickal Banana Bread

I can just imagine you out there with a tilted head wondering “where is she going with this?”.  Well ladies, it’s simple.  Everything in our lives can be magickal, sensual and spiritual.  In fact everything is, unfortunately we have become so over run with mind clutter and stressed out thoughts that we no longer savour the cosmic connectiveness that can be found in our daily life activities… from walking, writing an email to yes, even baking.

When we start to step into the realm of feminine magick one of the foundational things we learn is how to become more awakened in each moment.

We realize that the natural world is directly connected to the cosmic realm thus, our answers we often seek in meditation can be found through the whispers of the wind or messages of the fallen leaves.

We realize that our physical body is not just a stationary temple for our Spirit, but a wondrous vehicle taking us like explorers through this realm to taste, touch and relish the various tangible aspects of the human experience.

We realize that our actions are not just mundane, nor repetitive, that even the drive we take to work changes every day from who we glimpse in the car next to us, the birds we see in the sky to the music caressing our ears from the radios, change is all around even amidst what appears to be stagnant.

We realize that everything we put our energy into can be a form of magick.  From turning our morning walk into a conscious format for moving meditation to even baking.

Feminine Magick transforms not only how we see the world, but how much power we put back into it through our actions.

Let me take you through a basic example, one that will leave you with multiple rewards from a delectable experience into the realm of mysticism to a delicious loaf of Magickal Banana Bread.

Meditation through Baking:

1) Set an intention for your baking.  Are you baking to heal?  Baking to empower?  Baking to celebrate?  Baking to appreciate?  Choose one and write it down as an affirmation.  E.g.  “I create this banana bread with love, appreciating my partner/husband/lover/kids” or “This banana bread is a healing gift for my sister/cousin/self”.

2) Clear counter space and take a moment to feel that your kitchen is clean of excess energy.  Your may wish to use incense, sage or even place a crystal in the space that helps to remove clutter and negative energies (amethyst is a very common option).

3) Consciously collect up the following ingredients (& tools), pre-measure and and lay them out on the counter:

Once your banana bread is done, be sure to cut into that first piece with appreciation for yourself and trusting in your intention you set.  If you are sharing it with another, do so with a different level of sacredness.  It may just look like banana bread, but your heart and energy have gone into it, so honor this.

With so many FABULOUS entrepreneurs that I get to interact with in our Conscious Divas community, I would love to use this opportunity to not only share what I do, but inspire you to share your keys below for others to implement!

In a nutshell, let me try and explain why I think I *might* be qualified to write this article. As of this moment, today, I work regularly with 4 companies as their project manager, coach or online business development specialist (offering websites, coaching, social media branding and other services to authors, speakers and entrepreneurs around the world). This is in addition to the time and energy I spend developing my own company, NGNG Enterprises (standing for No Guts No Glory) offering the same types of services above. Within these, let’s say 5 companies, I am currently communicating with over 100 clients on more than 50 projects all with different timelines, details and progress updates happening close to daily. Just like any other entrepreneur I have multiple client calls throughout the day, my to-do list is long and somewhere in there I need to take short breaks. I work on average 8-9 hours a day and never work nights or weekends unless I absolutely have to.

But you know what? It’s fun and I love it.

I wasn’t born with some amazing ability to multi-task or be crazy efficient. It’s something I worked really hard at. Now, sure, it comes very easily which is why my first reaction to questions about how I pull it all off is, “I have no idea!” It’s a habit now and I want to share some keys with you of how I came to be super efficient, which allowed me to take on more client projects, which resulted in my company growing more than I ever expected.

Key #1: I get in the right frame of mind.
On Sunday nights I have that slight pouty face because the next day is Monday and I know my day will feel out of control as Mondays always do. I also know that exercise gets the blood pumping, makes me more alert and gives me a LOT more energy. So every single Monday without fail I wake up earlier than I want to and I force myself to workout hard. Once I’m done, showered, dressed and coffee in hand… I know that “Super Amber” has come out to play. You wouldn’t believe the energy and efficiency that comes out of me. Any time I need another boost during the week, I do the same process. Works like a charm! I suppose I should note too that I eat well and I sleep well – I think an overall healthy lifestyle does contribute to my work success.

Key #2: I survive by my to-do list.
I created a super simple to-do sheet in Microsoft Word one day because I couldn’t find a system I liked. It had a bunch of lines going down the page and a box to the right for meeting times and notes about what I need to accomplish during the week, but not necessarily “today.” I printed out 90 sheets and had the book spiral bound. I use one page every day and order a new book when needed.

In my mind I have a laser focus on where each project is at in its timeline so I know what has to be done and by when. For every project I have a “would-be-nice-to-get-it-done-by date” and a “hard-deadline-no-matter-what date.” If I’m absolutely slammed one week, I may need to push a project to the hard deadline (which is almost always earlier than the client’s hard date) – if I have a light week, I get it done early which makes my clients happy. Either way my clients are happy because I’m moving the project forward at a good speed. I always give myself a little padding.

So, knowing where the project is in its timeline is key to the to-do list. On my list I never write huge projects or things that aren’t due for 2 more weeks. Those are for separate “bigger picture” lists I keep off to the side. I want to see MAJOR progress every day so that I am energized to keep accomplishing big things. The goal is to cross everything off my list each day, or come dang close. For anything that I don’t accomplish, I have to write it out on tomorrow’s list. For little tasks, I get so sick of writing them down over and over that I just get it done so I can save myself the agony. (I’m human, wink.) I’m proud of my to-do list and I enjoy looking at it because of all I accomplish. It’s NOT something I dread or fear or dislike. It’s all in our attitude – even about the little things.

Key #3: I make rules and I follow them.
Rule 1, write my to-do list every day even if I don’t want to. Rule 2, get in my office everyday no later than 8:30am (I work from home; I hit this goal every day). Rule 3, leave my office everyday no later than 5:30pm (ok, I usually hit this, not always, but I scold myself every minute I’m working too late – balance is key, time to rest is key, time to have fun is key – p.s. when I’m not in my busy season I’ll end my day around 4-4:30pm). Rule 4, before I finish my work day I always clean off my desk completely so I have a fresh space to look forward to in the morning (your environment is SO important!!!), and this is when I write out my next day’s to-do list. I let the weight of the tasks fall on the paper, close my office door and leave it all behind me. I have more rules, but you get the gist. It’s essential for my success, especially working from my home office.

Key #4: I play tennis.
Metaphorically speaking, I play tennis every day. I am constantly batting the ball in someone else’s court. For example, when an email comes in with a client asking me to do something, I try to immediately do it or ask them for something I need in order to do the work. Most times, within 5-10 minutes of getting an email, I reply. Unless it is a long email with lots of questions, I send a reply right back to get it off my plate. You wouldn’t believe how happy this makes people! I do it for that reason, yes, but also for my sanity! I get well over 100 emails a day of people sending me tasks, asking for education or tips on topics – LOTS of my time is spent in communication (which I actually think is a lot of fun because I know I’m adding serious value to my clients businesses). I would quickly go insane if I let it build up so I reply to email all day long and I do my work tasks when email slows down in patches throughout the day.

I need to add that my business is probably MUCH different than yours, so I’m not suggesting all of these tips will work well for you, but I do want to get you thinking about how you can improve efficiency in your business. You deserve breathing room, fun and less stress!

Key #5: I work smarter, not harder.
I am always thinking of how to systematize something. I only need to do a task once before I’ve figure out the faster way to do it. If I do the task two or three times, I keep improving my time by finding shortcuts. NOT shortcuts that reduce the quality of my work – I’m way too much of a stickler for a quality job to let things slip through the cracks frequently.

This philosophy comes out in small ways and big ways. An example of a big way – I noticed that a lot of people in my industry spend soo much time finding clients, writing proposals, proving themselves – all trying to get a single new client project. I realized that if I connected with a few companies that already had a client base, I could offer my services under their umbrella (or under mine, it depends) and save a lot of time in creating new work. I learned early on to have a strong focus in partnerships with companies that I believed in, who believed in me, and we could create more of a long-lasting relationship. Another example, when I find that my clients start asking the same types of questions I work smarter not harder by creating a video tutorial to give out anytime someone asks me about that topic in the future. Another example, if I keep writing the same email over and over, I save a copy and use that the next time and just change what’s needed. I’m always thinking of how to save time because those minutes sure add up in a day!

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Like many of you, I really want people to have a good impression of me, see my hard work, recognize my values and want to work with me on a project (big or small). When I tell a client I will do something for them, I set a date earlier than what they would have expected usually, and I use that as a way to hold myself accountable. I don’t want to give the impression that I am a flake, unreliable and not to be trusted. Just the opposite! So I tell people my deadlines or goals, and allow that to be the accountability I need to get things done.

Since I tend to set fast turnaround times for projects, I have to be efficient with my time to get everything done in time. I am definitely a person that would rather be busy than bored. So I keep myself just busy enough before I get into an unhealthy situation of stress (been there). This is also a reason I set rules – to protect myself from burnout. I use the keys above to stay efficient and get things done so I can go play. I was raised with the mentality “Work hard, play hard” and life sure is a lotta fun when you have that focus.

Your turn.
So there you have it, 5 keys from an efficiency queen. I don’t want this journey to end here though. See the Facebook comments box just below this article? I’d love for you to make a comment in that box and tag @AmberLudwig and @ConsciousDivas, telling us what you thought of this article – what was helpful – what your keys to success are – and any questions I can answer. Also, if you felt these tips were helpful, please help me share it with others through our social media share buttons below.

Thank you all for your time!