Have you stepped into your power?

To find this out you need to answer this question: Do you ever get hard on yourself? If you are like most people, the answer is yes. We often define our goodness or lack of by what we do or don’t do. For example, if I exercise I may feel good and praise myself or if I don’t exercise then I might be hard on myself and feel badly. This pattern is very disempowering. I just turned something I love to do into a punishment or a measuring stick of my self-worth. This stems from a belief that something outside of us will make us better or whole. These self-care activities are meant to be enjoyed and not meant to be our minds way of punishing or praising ourselves.

It is not what you do that defines you, it is who you already are and will always be that does. That is not to say that you shouldn’t have goals and work towards them. But it is in the ‘how’ you do it that is important.

I see clients who are hard on themselves because they are trying to lose weight, quit a habit or change a difficult situation. They conclude that they must be flawed or broken because they have these challenges. Believing this dims their light and prevents them from coming into their full potential. The trick is to not tie up our sense of self-worth into anything outside ourselves. If we do this we alternate between feeling pride and sadness. Both states are not enjoyable but pride may feel a bit better than sadness. We need to move away from this tendency which is so disempowering.

What prevents us from doing this? On some level we all want to be accepted by others and we go to great lengths to achieve that. Unfortunately even when we get the approval we seek it still feels disempowering because on some level we realize that our happiness lies outside of us. This is true for any activity we pursue. If we are doing it for any other reason than the pure joy of it, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Another example I noticed is when people decide to incorporate a meditation practice into their lives. They start off very excited but occasionally forget to do it or they get too busy. They end up feeling a sense of failure and feel horrible. We must learn to assess our actions without beating ourselves up about it. These activities do not make us a better or worse person. They are actions that we can do and enjoy if we want.

Do you want to create a new routine? Great! Put the systems in place to make it happen successfully like hiring a coach, organizing an accountability buddy system and always remind yourself why you want it. Please don’t ever give yourself a hard time if it doesn’t happen, it only perpetuates the cycle of negativity and keeps you stuck in inaction.

How do we practice this? Ask yourself the question, “What would ___________ (your action) help me achieve, be or do? Maybe meditation would help you feel balanced, or journaling would help you feel clearer and calmer. Now sit with that and know that you are those things already. Everything you want, you already are.

I know, I know, I can hear you say that is impossible and not true but I wholeheartedly believe that it is true and I want to share this with you.

Why is self-acceptance so hard for us to do? It is challenging because there is nothing to do. The mind finds this too simple and believes it must be wrong. Remember nothing can add to or take away from your innate greatness.

Meditation doesn’t make you amazing.
Journaling doesn’t make you whole.
Yoga doesn’t make you wonderful.

You are already all those now! If you happen to forget to do yoga one day or not feel like it, that’s okay too. Don’t use it as an excuse to be hard on yourself and criticize who you are.

Step into your power now and stop wasting energy by focusing on what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Nothing that you do or don’t do will ever define you. You are already beautiful, talented and amazing. Own it now and then see what happens.

What does stepping into your power mean to you?

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