Why forgive? Is there a benefit of letting go verses holding onto judgment? Forgiveness is no small feat. It takes committed practice and we must believe that there are benefits to it. If we are the only ones who will either benefit or not from our choice to forgive the question is: do you think you are worth it?

Sometimes we believe that our anger or judgment keeps us safe and ‘in control’. I would agree that it feels quite nice, at least initially, to believe that ‘I am right and you are wrong’ or ‘this is black and that is white’. The ego loves separation, judging and making wrong. It may not come as a big surprise but there is much more ‘gray’ out there then our ego would like to admit. Letting go into that reality and believing this can feel very strange if we are not used to it. It is like swimming alone in the middle of the ocean with nothing to hang onto. Sound kind of scary?

When we begin to play with the idea of letting go of our judgments we realize just how strongly attached we are to them. Whenever I travel to Bali I always receive amazing insights and during my most recent trip I noticed on a deeper level how much my mind judged everything. This in itself is not a huge realization, the human mind always judges because that is its nature. What came as a big surprise to me was that I believed some of those judgments – a lot! Admittedly, I was initially a little disappointed when I discovered this but I soon got excited because of the obvious growth potential.

Forgiveness can be defined as the absence of indulging those judgments. So I committed to paying attention to all my thoughts, particularly those that were judgmental and if I noticed a judgmental thought about myself, someone else or a situation – I would stop and be mindful of it. Sounds simple enough.

After one day of this exercise I realized how attached I was to those negative thoughts. It felt so strange to stop mid-judgment. My fears around control surfaced and I was shocked at the emotions that came up. Sometimes during this exercise the urge to judge was just too strong and yes… I caved. I immediately noticed how uncomfortable that negativity made me feel. Energetically my body felt contracted, tight and heavy. Yuk! It was strange to realize that this process had always been going on but I never noticed it before.

I wanted to keep going so I continued practicing. In order to make this exercise a bit easier I started to trust in ‘divine justice’. This made me feel a lot better especially when something happened which I felt was unfair. I just let the universe deal with it because clearly I was in no position to take that on. Just to be clear: Letting go is not the same as condoning the action or thinking that it’s okay. I may not agree with what has taken place but I choose to let the universe deal with it.

After a week of committed practice I discovered the best result ever – I felt great! My energy levels were high and I felt lighter. It is difficult to describe but I felt so amazing on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. There is no doubt in my mind that judgment is the most toxic thing we can do to ourselves. After a week of practice, I had personal proof that I was onto something very big. Sure I had read tons of books about forgiveness and attended workshops in the past but nothing hit home quite as hard as having my own body reinforce it. Holding onto judgment only hurts us and it hurts big time. This practice helped me to see clearer that the world is perfect even in its perceived imperfections and I have a choice to either roll with it or fight it. Let’s roll baby!

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes

Are you up for a one week challenge? Forgive daily by being mindful – you will feel so good I am sure you will be hooked.

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